Session #92: Baisho's Secret Formula

GM : Adam

Max Player Count : 5

Level Range : 2-3

Client : Baisho, of Baisho's Blessings and Karma Adjustment Center

Current Players :

Location : Menande

Date : 18 Jan 2020 05:00

Start Time : 2 pm

Job Link : [[[]]]

Session Description :

*Jingle*

~Baisho's Blessings! Come on down! Come on down to the place in town… With the Best! (The best?) THE BEST! Karma Adjustment Center!!! Yeah!~

.

*A slightly soggy speed dating form from the Jester and Spear's 'Lonely Hearts Night' is tacked onto the board*

I am a: Businessman

Looking for a: Adventurers

Likes: long walks in the desert. Jalapeno Maizefloofs. Quiet results. That feeling of blissful emptiness after a fart.

Dislikes: THAT SON OF A BITCH MJULDER

Session Summary :

The Squad: Abel, a new Logan Dude who is quiet and has a big sword (and a cell phone?) (oh, no that’s just the portrait). Jyl, Tracie’s new character, a centaur librarian and I think a spellcaster of some variety? She works at the library in Saigon’s Bastion (the palace) and is here for “field experience”. Haru and Rex are returning characters, as is Bolli. And we also had his Monkey. Let's not forget the Monkey.

The Mission: Well the first part was figuring what the hell the mission posting meant.

We went down to the Jester and Spear, and asked about the name on the form. "Oh yeah I know that Baisho guy. Comes in here every singles night, gets real drunk, and strikes out. Has a shop over thataway." We find Baisho (http://fgcpathfinder.wikidot.com/session:74 the cat, the myth, the legend]) passed out drunk under his desk, and after cleaning the grouchy merchant up a bit, we learn that (shockingly) things haven't been too hot for him. His assistant, uh… Mjulder? Ran out on him. Started up a rival business a few blocks away. And Baisho is pissed. He doesn't remember writing that note or posting it on the job board, but listen, if you fellas were to uh, oh I dunno, expose his investors and business partners as crooks and shut the business down, that might be worth a few trinkets to me. After some debate over whether this was actually a thing the Guild does (it's not really) we agreed to at least go check it out cause yeah those business partners sound pretty shady.

Turns out, they're hella shady. None of the PC's have the background knowledge to understand this, but the players recognize the El-Malvomen fashion sense when they see it! Jyl and Bolli went in as the distraction, while Rex and Haru circled around to Be Productive. Abel was also there. Things immediately went not according to the plan we didn't really have to begin with when Bolli attempted to sneakily summon the Monkey, and the Monkey rolled a nat 1 on his stealth check. The Monkey was banished from the store (no pets allowed!) and went to make mischief on his own. He climbed up the building, saw Mjulder working on enchanting something, and stole his chisel. This set off a series of antics that could only be set to the tune of Yakety Sax. Hats were stolen, roofs were climbed, nobody knew where the fuck this monkey had come from or why it was fucking with these people except Bolli, and he decided it was probably best to remain blameless in this. Presumably this is not the first time the Monkey has snuck off and caused trouble. It was a shitshow. The cops arrested everybody, the Monkey stole the key to the paddy wagon, and fines were paid for "disturbing the peace". Everyone involved had a very weird day. Oh and apparently Mjulder was sleeping with Baisho's new wife, Sensei Zuak Shamei the material arts trainer tengu next door. Major yikes.

In conclusion: Ook!


After reading the mission report, Durzog decides that since this "mission" was posted by a drunk cat at two in the morning, who didn't go through the proper vetting process and doesn't even remember posting it, this was not an official Guild mission, and thus they do not need to keep a record of it. He accepts it from whichever poor sap drew the short straw, reads it, gives them a Look, and pitches it into the trash.


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